Arya sweeps the atrium of the House of Black and White where worshippers kneel before the many icons. Jaqen H'ghar offers a man water from the fountain in the room's center. "Valar morghulis," says the man who drinks from the cup. Having observed everything around her, Arya confronts Jaqen and demands to start her apprenticeship. "Valar dohaeris," says Jaqen, reminding her she must serve – and not herself. "To serve well, a girl must become No One." Acolytes carry away the body of the man, now lifeless.
The populace of King's Landing gathers to witness Tommen Baratheon's marriage to Margaery Tyrell. After the marriage is consummated, Margaery tells a breathless Tommen he is "the sweetest king that ever lived." Reflecting on his situation, Tommen confides it's still strange knowing he's king because his brother died – but he doesn't feel guilty about it. Changing the subject to Cersei, Margaery refers to her as a "lioness guarding her cub" and Tommen as "her baby boy." Walking with his mother the next day, Tommen surprises Cersei by asking if she'd be happier in Casterly Rock.
Cersei goes to see Margaery, who is entertaining her Tyrell cousins with stories about Tommen's stamina. Cersei does her best to maintain her smile through their exchange – "What's the proper way to address you? Queen Mother or Dowager Queen?" jabs Margaery.
Theon spots freshly flayed bodies at Winterfell, now under re-construction and flying Bolton banners. In the feast hall, Roose Bolton takes Ramsay to task for flaying resistant bannermen while collecting taxes. Ramsay argues the endeavor was a success: The new Lord Cerwyn paid up. Roose offers another lesson to his now-legitimate son: Marriage is how lasting alliances are made. "I've found the perfect girl to solidify our hold on the North," he tells Ramsay.
Littlefinger surveys Moat Cailin and the North with Sansa, and tells her she's going "home." Aware that the Boltons now hold Winterfell, Sansa realizes the marriage proposal Littlefinger spoke of is for her. Lord Baelish tries to calm Sansa – her marriage to Ramsay will only go through on her say so – but he advises her to recognize the opportunity. She has been a bystander to tragedy since Ned's execution, he says. "You loved your family. Avenge them."
As Sansa is welcomed at Winterfell by Roose and Ramsay, Ramsay's companion Myranda watches jealously with the staff. An old woman shows Sansa to her room, addressing her as “Lady Stark” and adding, "The North remembers."
Brienne and Pod continue to follow Sansa and Littlefinger from a distance – Brienne knows where they are going. Stopping for the evening, Pod tells Brienne how he came to serve Tyrion Lannister: Sentenced to hang, Pod was pardoned and assigned to Tyrion by Lord Tywin when the Lannister learned Podrick was a Payne. Touched by Pod's praise of her skills, Brienne promises she will train him to fight and ride. She then explains how she came to serve Renly Baratheon: Renly saved her from humiliation at the ball her father hosted, asking her to dance while the other guests toyed with her. Brienne admits to Pod she knew that Renly preferred the company of men, but he saved her – and she hasn't forgotten she couldn't save him. "I will avenge King Renly," she tells Pod, naming Stannis as the man responsible.
Jon Snow welcomes Stannis and Davos in his new chambers but turns down Stannis' offer to become Lord of Winterfell. Stannis tells Jon that he'll march for Winterfell in a fortnight – the fate of the wildlings is up to him. The king further advises Jon to send Ser Alliser away on assignment. Davos remains behind to sway Jon and his new steward, Olly. As the "shield that guards the realms of men," the Onion Knight tells them, they are not helping anyone from a "castle at the frozen edge of the world."
A waif in service at the House of Black and White interrogates Arya about her identity and her intentions. She strikes Arya each time Arya lies or fails to answer. Jaqen H'ghar puts a stop to the violence but presses Arya to prove she is not Arya Stark. Chastised, Arya goes to the harbor and tosses over her clothing, the stolen bag of silver, and Jaqen's coin. Arya wavers holding Needle and decides to hide the sword in a pile of rocks instead. Now dressed like the waif, Arya is led by Jaqen through the iron doors in the atrium. She is taken to a room where she and the waif wash a corpse.
From the high table of Castle Black, Jon hands out new assignments. Jon surprises Ser Alliser by naming him First Ranger. Janos Slynt balks at his assignment: command of Greyguard. Slynt dismisses the castle as a ruin and repeatedly refuses to heed Jon's command. At that, Jon calls for Longclaw and Slynt is escorted to the chopping block. Slynt begs for mercy in his final moments, but Jon swings the sword.
Sparrows raid Littlefinger's brothel and parade the High Septon naked through the streets, denouncing him as a sinner. The High Septon turns to the Small Council for justice, telling them that the High Sparrow, leader of the criminals that assaulted him, is a threat to what they hold sacred. Cersei seeks out the High Sparrow and is impressed by his humility. "The faith and the crown are the two pillars that hold up the world," she tells him. "We need to do what's necessary to protect one another."
Returning to the Red Keep, Cersei interrupts Qyburn in his laboratory to send a raven to Littlefinger. As Qyburn pens the missive, a sudden movement on the table behind him sends glass crashing.
While Ramsay thanks Littlefinger, assuring him he would never do anything to hurt Sansa, Roose confronts him about his loyalties. Lord Baelish confides that without Tywin, the Lannisters have lost their luster. Still suspicious, Roose hands over the scroll from Cersei – seal broken. Littlefinger reminds him that the last time the Vale and the North joined forces, "they brought down the greatest dynasty this world has ever known."
Tyrion demands to be let out of the wheelhouse over Varys' protests about his safety. The two of them walk along the Long Bridge of Volantis and watch a Red Priestess, once a slave herself, proselytize for the Dragon Queen. The two proceed to a brothel and note the popularity of a whore dressed as Daenerys. Tyrion talks up a different whore, but is surprised to find himself unable to proceed with the transaction. Excusing himself, he urinates into the river where he is bound and gagged by a stranger. "I'm taking you to the queen," says Jorah Mormont.
Margaery, freshly wed to Tommen, manipulates her huband into dispatching Cersei to Casterly Rock. Baelish conducts Sansa Stark to Winterfell to cement an alliance with Roose Bolton through her marriage to his son Ramsay. Sansa will consolidate the Bolton hold on the North, while Baelish hints at an alliance between the North and the Eyrie is capable of bringing down the kingdom. Jon Snow refuses Stannis' proposition and Stannis heads for King's Landing via Winterfell. To adapt in the House of Black and White, Arya rids herself of all her personal effects save for Needle, which she hides in a pile of rocks. At Castle Black, Ser Allister is named First Ranger; Janos Slynt refuses to be dispatched to rebuild Greygard, and Snow executes Slynt himself. Lancel finds the High Septon compromised in Littlefinger's brothel; in a purge, Cersei decides to seek out the High Sparrow. Arriving in Volantis, Tyrion visits a brothel and is abducted by Jorah Mormont.
Margaery, newly wed to Tommen, manipulates him into planning to send Cersei to Casterly Rock. Baelish conducts Sansa to Winterfell to cement an alliance with Roose through her marriage to Ramsay, behind the Lannisters' back. Brienne decides to train Podrick. To adapt in the House of Black and White, Arya throws all her personal effects into the river except for Needle, which she hides in a pile of rocks. At Castle Black, Snow names Thorne First Ranger, but Slynt refuses to follow Snow's orders that he leave to rebuild the Greygard ruin. Snow executes Slynt himself. Lancel finds the High Septon in a compromising situation in a brothel, punishing him by forcing him to walk the streets completely nude. The High Septon complains to Cersei, who imprisons him instead. She meets the High Sparrow, approving the Sparrows' actions. Tyrion and Varys arrive in Volantis and visit a brothel, where the former is abducted by Mormont, intending to take him "to the queen".
As Arya sweeps in one corner of a vast room whose walls are lined by statues, a seemingly desperate man is given a drink from the circular pool in the center of a room by Jaqen H'aghar. He then kneels to pray before one of the statues. Other men are doing this. Arya notes she has been sweeping for days and wants to begin her apprenticeship to become a "faceless man." Jaqen notes that all men must serve. She didnt think that would mean sweeping. She wants to serve as a faceless man. He says she wants to serve herself and must serve god, noting "There is only one god, the girl knows his name and all men know his gift." He walks away. A door opens and men come to carry a seemingly dead man out on a gurney. She asks where he is being taken and gets no answer. Arya is hanging out in her room when another girl enters. She asks who she is and says she doesn't deserve to be there and didn\'t earn her coin nor respect its value. She again asks who she is. Arya says "no one" and the girl whacks her with a stick and asks again and it goes on. Arya gets justifiably angry and says the girl is about to find out and goes for Needle. Jaqen enters and the other girl says they were playing the game of faces. Jaqen says she is not ready. Arya says she is ready for anything she needs to do to be a faceless man. He notes she is still clad in Arya Stark's clothes and surrounded by her things so how can she claim to be no one? She changes into the same kind of plain dress the other girl was wearing and heads to the water and sinks her clothes, silver, and her coinagain. She tries to toss Needle but it is her last remaining tie to her father and family and she begins to weep and can't do it. Instead she hides under a nearby pile of rocks. Back in the House she sweeps some more. When men carry a guy back on a gurney she doesn't even notice. Until she sees they left the door open. Before she can sneak in, Jaqen appears and leads her through. They go down some stairs and into a chamber where one of the dead men lies, the girl that hit Arya is there. Silently, she follows the girl's lead and helps take off the man's shirt and they begin washing him. She asks what they do after they wash them and the girl does not answer. Margaery and Tommen marry. Everyone claps, even Cersei. We cut to their marital bed where both are out of breath. He is scared he hurt her and she assures him he did not and says it was lovely and calls him the sweetest king that ever lived. He says he wants to do it all day every day for the rest of his life. They talk about getting used to words like king, queen, husband and wife. He says he sometimes thinks that he got the most beautiful woman all because his brother died. She tells him not to feel guilty. He says what's odd is that he doesn't. They learn that they both love to sail and decide that this means they will be happy forever. She wastes no time planting seeds of division. She claims it's wonderful having Cersei watch over them and then wonders aloud if Cersei likes it in King's Landing. He says he thinks she misses home. Margaery notes Cersei is so protective, especially given all the death she's been throughhusband, son, fatherthat she will never let him out of her sight. We cut to Cersei and Tommen walking and him immediately asking if she misses Casterley Rock since it's where she grew up. She says this is her real home and wants to stay in King's Landing. He says he just wants her to be happy. She goes to see Margaery, who is regaling her ladies in waiting with tales of Tommen's enthusiasm. She calls her mother but asks what the protocol is, does she call her Queen Mother or Dowager Queen? Cersei, who came to let her know if she needs anything to just ask, bristles at all of this, especially when she tells her about Tommen's prowess-- half lion, half stagand says she'll be Queen Grandmother soon. Cersei notes what a lovely day that will be. She walks away and she can hear the ladies laughing. The High Septon, whom we just saw marry Margaery and Tommen, is in Littlefinger's old brothel picking women when a group of the super religious Sparrows enter and castigate him for making a mockery of religion. They drag him out and force him to walk naked through the streets and beat him. He heads to the Small Council to complain and basically asks for their leader's head on a stick. Cersei goes to see the High Sparrow in a filthy area where he is feeding the hungry and poor and shoeless. She notes that probably wasn't the best approach to take, beating the Gods' servant. He notes that hypocrisy is a boil and that lancing boil is never pleasant. She says the High Septon wants her to execute him but she agrees with the High Sparrow and says that the man's behavior and attitude were corrosive so she threw him in the dungeon. She is clearly impressed by the High Sparrow and notes that faith and the crown are the two pillars that hold up the world and that they must protect one another. She goes to see her creepy guy Qyburn and asks him to send a raven requesting a meeting with Littlefinger and to make sure he is clear on the meaning of the word immediately. Theon walks through the yard at Winterfell where many men are busy fixing things up. He comes upon two men hoisting up a pair of flayed bodies, Roose's signature and sigil as youll recall. Theon is horrified. We cut to him serving Roose and Ramsey food. Roose explains that they can't hold the north with terror alone. Ramsey points out that the flayed bodies were of people loyal to the Starks and wouldn't pay taxes to the Boltons and that he killed the couple and made the son watch. The son then paid the taxes. No dummy, he. That's all well and good says Roose but they got powerful by building alliances with powerful people, not flaying them. So, now that Tywin Lannister is dead and they can't count on that family to send an army this far north if needed, they need to make an alliance a new way. He announces it's time for Ramsey to marry and he has the perfect girl to solidify their hold on the north. Theon listens to all of this silently but intently. Sansa and Littlefinger arrive at Moat Cailin, a dark and foreboding collection of towers ruled by the Boltons, and she says she remembers it from a trip as a child. Littlefinger admits it does look a bit shabby but that he is taking her home to Winterfell. She begins to realize what this means, the marriage proposal he spoke of was for her, not himself. She begins to panic and points out that Roose Bolton murdered her brother and took Winterfell and works for the Lannisters and she won't marry him. He says Winterfell is hers and her place is in the north and thats she's not marrying Roose but Ramsey, his heir who will one day be warden of the north. She continues to protest. He says he won't force her to do anything because he cares about her and if she wants to go they will go but she must know that she will have to continue running and she needs to stop being a bystander. He says there is no justice in the world unless they make it. He says she loved her family and she should avenge them. He kisses her forehead. She acquiesces and they ride on to Winterfell. With two sets of eyes watching as they go. Sansa and Littlefinger ride into Winterfell. Theon watches from above, agitated. Littlefinger presents her to Bolton and after a moment she bows to him. He introduces Ramsey who kisses her hand. She's shown to a room and the maid says "Welcome home Lady Stark, the North remembers." Sansa walks about Winterfell as Ramsey tells Littlefinger he will never hurt her. Littlefinger asks after his lordship and Ramsey notes he was just recently made a lord. Roose arrives and dismisses Ramsey. He asks after Littlefinger's loyalties to the Lannisters. Littlefinger notes that Tywin's dead, Cersei's power is waning, Tommen is soft and Jaime has one hand so he's not worried about any consequences for giving Sansa to him. His message from Cersei has found its way from the Eryie to Winterfell and Roose read it. He wonders why Littlefinger is gambling his position. Littlefinger notes that every ambitious move is a gamble, just like Roose's killing of Robb Stark and that's worked out. He also tells Roose that since the Eryie is his now they can be powerful since the last time the l.ords of the Eyrie and the North aligned they brought down the greatest dynasty the world has ever known. He says he needs to reply to Cersei. Roose would like to read that reply. Brienne and Pod watch as Sansa and Littlefinger pass by Moat Cailin. She says they'll take the long way around to go undetected and it won't matter if they lose them because she knows where they're going. They chat about their pasts and she asks how he came to work for Tyrion. He explains that even though Tywin gave him to his son as a form of punishment it worked out since he was very good to him. She gets churlish and notes every lord he worked for was good to him and she's sorry he has to squire for such a nasty person. Because Pod is the very best, he says he's proud to be her squire since she's the best fighter he's ever seen and beat the Hound. She softens and apologizes for snapping all the time. He says if she didn't, he wouln't learn. She asks if he wants to be a knight and he does. She says they will start training, twice a day. She says she can't knight him but she can teach him how to fight. He says he supposes that's more important. He asks how she came to serve Renly, who Tyrion says was a good man. She agrees he was and explains. When her father was looking to marry he off he had a great ball where dozens of young lords came and danced and were sweet to her and didn't seem to notice how mulish and tall she was. It was the best night of her life until she realized they were making fun of her as a game. They called her "Brienne the Beauty" as a joke and she realized "I was the ugliest girl alive." She wanted to run away but Renly took her in his arms and told her not let them see her tears beause they were nasty little shits unworthy of her tears. Pod wonders why he did this since he was gay. Brienne gets testy and says "yes he liked men, he danced with me because he was kind and didn't want to see me hurt." She says from that day until his last day she swore to protect him as part of his King's Guard, but couldnt save him and notes that nothing's more hateful than failing to protect the one you love. But now she plans to avenge him by killing Stannis. Meanwhile, at the Wall Stannis, Davos, and the little boy who killed Ygritte, Ollywho is now Jon Snow's stewardhave a sit down. Jon says he considered Stannis's offer to be Jon Stark but he swore an oath to the Night's Watch and now he is Lord Commander and his place is here. Stannis points out that Jon is as honorable and stubborn as his father. Jon calls this high praise but Stannis says he didn't mean it as praise since his honor got Ned killed. Jon asks how long they'll be staying because food is becoming an issue since he's feeding his men, Stannis' men and the wildling prisoners and winter is coming. Stannis says he knows and they are going to leave in a fortnight ahead of the snow. He leaves the fate of wildlings to Jon. He also advises him to send Alliser Thorne away. But Jon said he heard you were supposed to keep enemies close. Stannis says whoever said that didn't have many enemies and leaves. Davos stays behind and tells him that Stannis believes in him. Jon says he is sorry he disappointed him. He says Stannis just wants to do right by the Seven Kingdoms. Jon notes that he does, as long as he's ruling them. Davos snappishly points out that it is Stannis's blood right to the throne. Jon says he's sworn to steer clear of politics. At that Davos asks Olly to repeat the vow of the Night's Watch and stops him when he gets to the part about how they will be "the shield that guards the realms of men." Stannis says Jon would be better off trying to do that not sitting at a frozen castle at the end of the world but by helping Stannis with the fight because as long as the Bolton's rule the north, the north will suffer. Jon holds his first big meeting as Lord Commander, Maester Aemon is not there, he's not feeling well. He announces they need to dig a new latrine pit and announces they need a latrine captain and picks Brian because he says it seems like a good job for a Ginger. He addresses Ser Alliser and everyone thinks hes going to lower the boom. But instead he says nice things to him about his service and bravery in battle and names him "First Ranger." But when it comes to Lord Janus he is not so kind. He tells him he is going to send him to command of Gray Guard. This is a crap assignment at the end of the world and Janus balks. Loudly, talking back to Jon and telling him to take the assignment and stick it up his bastard ass. Jon makes sure that he's hearing what he thinks, that Janus is disobeying a command. He is. Jon tells the men to take him outside and asks Olly to bring him his sword. Alliser stands aside from Janus and lets them take him. They bring to him to the chopping block. Jon asks if he has any last words. Stannis watches from afar. When Janus realizes he is serious he begs and apologizes. Jon raises the sword. Janus begs for mercy and says he's afraid, he's always been afraid. Jon chops off his head anyway. Stannis gives Jon the nod of approval. There's a new Lord Commander in town now, yall! The buddies are still riding and Tyrion is gripped with cabin fever. Varys continually reminds him of the bounty on his head. Tyrion no longer cares and says he will be of no use to Daenerys Targaryen if he is crazy. So they stop in a very crazy, busy, dirty city Volantis where he claims he can just be one more drunk dwarf. They mosey around the market, Tyrion gets some booze and they take in a Red Priestess preaching to a flock in the square about the "dragon queen." Tyrion kids Varys that he didn't realize they were going to meet the savior. But when the woman stares right at him they hotfoot it out of there to a brothel. He finds a woman he likes but when the moment arrives to head to a room he realizes he can't do it, much to his own shock. He says he hopes this passes. But he won't get to find out because also hanging out in this brothel is a very agitate Ser Jorah who sees him and when he is away from Varys, he kidnaps him!! Lucky he had that rope and ball gag handy!