A trembling Theon Greyjoy follows Ramsay Snow and Myranda as they savagely hunt down a young woman and leave her for the dogs. Upon returning to the Dreadfort, Ramsay greets his father, Roose Bolton, Roose’s new bride, Walda, and Locke, who have just arrived. Roose is irritated with his bastard when he sees what's become of Theon Greyjoy, no longer useful as a hostage. Although Roose is now Warden of the North, the Bolton claim on the land is tenuous as long as the Ironborn hold Moat Cailin.
Eager to demonstrate that “Reek” is both docile and useful, Ramsay commands his prisoner to give him a shave. Reek delicately handles the blade and answers Ramsay's questions, informing Roose that Bran and Rickon Stark are alive. Tasked with finding the boys, Locke heads for Castle Black, based on Reek’s guess that the Starks sought shelter with Jon Snow. Impressed with Reek's submissiveness, Roose makes a proposition: If Ramsay can use Theon Greyjoy to win Moat Cailin, Roose will reconsider his bastard's legitimacy.
After Jaime Lannister confides to Tyrion that he cannot fight with his left hand, his brother advises Jaime to train with a discreet swordsman, and recommends Bronn for the job. Jaime is initially insulted when the sellsword insists on fighting with dull sparring blades, but soon acknowledges that he is no better than a beginner.
Tyrion Lannister receives disastrous news from Varys: Cersei has learned of his relationship with Shae, and Varys will not cover for him. When Shae goes to Tyrion's chamber later that day, he is clear: She must leave. He has prepared passage for her to Pentos. Shae rejects the idea, but Tyrion cuts her short: "You're a whore." He maintains that he doesn't love her and that their time together is over. She flees in tears. Later that day, Bronn assures Tyrion that Shae boarded the ship.
Melisandre oversees an “offering” to the Lord of Light at Dragonstone. Three traitors are burned at the stake, including Stannis Baratheon's brother-in-law. Davos Seaworth questions his king's complacency, but Stannis brushes him off. Later that night, Stannis defends his daughter to his wife, Selyse, who believes Shireen to be tainted by sin. Selyse backs down when Melisandre agrees to talk to the child. The Red priestess explains to Shireen that the gods of the Seven are false; there are only two gods – one of light and one of darkness, and they are eternally at war.
Bran Stark hunts as his direwolf Summer when he's woken by Hodor. Meera and Jojen Reed warn Bran about spending too much time in Summer's skin; after a certain point, Bran will forget his humanity entirely. The hungry travelers press on and notice Summer standing beside an ancient weirwood. Compelled by the tree's face, Bran touches the trunk and experiences a series of visions. "I know where we have to go," he tells his companions.
King Joffrey receives wedding gifts at a breakfast held in his honor. Tyrion presents his nephew with a rare book, which the king promptly hacks to shreds once his grandfather presents him with a new Valyrian steel sword. The king names his new blade “Widow’s Wail.”
Joffrey and Margaery are wed in the Faith of the Seven. Oberyn Martell and Ellaria Sand greet Tywin Lannister and dowager queen Cersei at the lavish reception. Oberyn mentions his sister's murder, silencing the Lannisters. Tywin has a pointed exchange with Olenna Tyrell, who also offers her sympathies to Sansa Stark.
Jaime Lannister greets Loras Tyrell, and exchanges barbs with the Knight of Flowers. Cersei confronts Brienne of Tarth about her relationship with Jaime but cannot get a read on the warrior woman. Fuming, Cersei dresses down Maester Pycelle and commands him to give the leftovers to the dogs, defying Queen Margaery’s decree that the surplus go to the poor.
Joffrey silences the crowd and introduces a show, "The War of Five Kings." The performers are five dwarves, dressed as Joffrey, Stannis Baratheon, Renly Baratheon, Balon Greyjoy and Robb Stark. Joffrey grins at Tyrion while the crude show plays out. Sansa is equally insulted by a vulgar reenactment of her brother's death.
Once the show is completed, Joffrey suggests Tyrion join the fray. When his uncle snubs the offer and retaliates with a reference to the Battle of the Blackwater, Joffrey retaliates by pouring a glass of wine on Tyrion. He demands Tyrion serve as his cupbearer and sends him scrambling under the table for a goblet. The tension is broken when Margaery draws attention to the next course, a giant pigeon pie. Joffrey cuts through the crust, releasing live birds inside. The pie is distributed to the crowd and Joffrey digs in, and washes it down with wine. He begins to cough violently, and falls to the ground.
In the ensuing chaos, Dontos ushers Sansa out of the reception, Jaime rushes to the king’s side, while Olenna comforts Margaery. As he takes his final breaths, the Joffrey points to Tyrion. Cersei cradles her dead son and commands that Tyrion be arrested for Joffrey's murder.
Roose Bolton returns to the Dreadfort to meet up with his bastard son Ramsay Snow and sees firsthand how Theon Greyjoy has been brutalized into a subservient persona called 'Reek'. His next objective is to find and kill the remaining Stark children, Bran and Rickon, who threaten the legitimacy of his new title, as well as reclaiming the territories under Ironborn occupation. Beyond the Wall, the visions of the Three-eyed Raven compel Bran and his companions to travel further northwards, despite growing hunger. At Dragonstone, Melisandre orders several people to be burned as a tribute to the Lord of Light, to the delight of Queen Selyse and the disgust of Davos and Shireen. In King's Landing, Tyrion ends his relationship with Shae to protect her from his family and arranges for her to be shipped off to Pentos. Jaime begins discreetly training his left-handed swordplay with the help of Bronn. Later at the Royal Wedding feast, tensions grow between Joffrey and Tyrion. The feast is abruptly cut short when Joffrey succumbs to poisoned wine and dies. A grief-stricken Cersei accuses Tyrion of murdering the king and orders his arrest.
Roose Bolton returns to the Dreadfort, where he blames Ramsay for mistreating Theon, who has been brutalized into a subservient persona called 'Reek'. The former decides to find and kill the remaining Stark children, Bran and Rickon, who threaten the legitimacy of his new title, while tasking Ramsay to reclaim the territories under Ironborn occupation. In Dragonstone, Melisandre orders several people to be burned as a tribute to the Lord of Light, to the delight of Queen Selyse and the disgust of Davos and Shireen. In King's Landing, Tyrion ends his relationship with Shae to protect her from his family and has her shipped off to Pentos. Jaime begins training his left-handed swordplay with the help of Bronn. King Joffrey and Margaery Tyrell are wed. Later, at the Royal Wedding feast, tensions between Joffrey and Tyrion grow — just before the former succumbs to poisoned wine and dies. A grief-stricken Cersei accuses Tyrion of the murder and has him arrested, while Ser Dontos, a former knight, advises Sansa to leave with him in order to survive.
Ramsey Snow, Theon, and Ramsey's girlfriend hunt a young human girl with dogs. Her crime was that she thought she was pretty, which offended Ramsey's girl Miranda. She is shot with an arrow and the dogs bark viciously around her. Ramsey lets the dogs rip her apart. Theon watches with disgust. Miranda notes the girl is not very pretty now. Tyrion and Jaime eat, well Tyrion does. Jaime isn't hungry. Tyrion toasts the proud Lannister children: the dwarf, the cripple, and the mother of madness. Tyrion compliments Jaime's hand which he promptly uses to knock over a goblet of wine. Jaime worries he can't fight. Tyrion tells him he must train then. Jaime worries someone will discover. Tyrion says he has a discreet swordsman for him. Bronn meets him at a secluded spot by the water and they begin to train so Jaime can get his skills strong with his left hand. Bronn gets right to it and doesn't hold back. A group of men rides toward a castle. It's Roose Bolton returned home. Bolton asks after Theon and says he'll have a look at him. Bolton's man reminisces about cutting off Jaime's hand with Ramsey. Ramsey presents the severely shell-shocked Theon, who is now called Reek. (He flayed him and cut off his penis.) Bolton is annoyed his bastard son did these things with a bargaining chip. Ramsey said he already offered to trade him and Bailon Greyjoy refused. Ramsey said Bolton put him in charge. Bolton says he needed Theon. Ramsey says Theon was their enemy but Reek will never betray him. Bolton thinks he places much too much trust in Ramsey and Ramsey in Theon. Ramsey asks Theon to shave him with a straight razor. This makes Bolton nervous but Ramsey taunts him maliciously and Theon never moves to slit his throat. He is tamed. Theon explains that he didn't kill Bran and Rickon but two farm boys and he knows the Stark boys are out there. Ramsey thinks the country will rally to their side now that Robb Stark is gone. Theon is sad to hear the news of Robb but again the razor stays steady. Bolton tells his main man to go find Bran and Rickon. Theon tells them to check Castle Black and Jon Snow. Bolton says if he wants to prove himself he should go conquer a strategic moat for him. Varys tells Tyrion that Shae has been discovered and they have to get rid of her. He says he has friends across the sea who can help. Tyrion says she's been told it's dangerous so often she no longer believes it. There is a fancy rehearsal-type dinner where people present gifts to Joffrey including his future father-in-law. Cersei tells Tywin about Shae. Tywin says he will kill her. Tyrion catches the drift of this exchange. Tyrion gives Joffrey an important book. He seems unimpressed but Tywin shoots him a look and Joffrey thanks Tyrion. Tywin gives Joffrey the other Valyrian steel sword he had forged along with Jaime's. Joffrey promptly starts whacking the table with it, slicing Tyrion's book to pieces in the process. He tries to think of a name and reminisces about beheading Ned Stark much to Sansa's dismay. Shae comes to Tyrion and he brutally pushes her away, is mean to her so she'll want to leave. He says he needs to do right by Sansa. She says she is not afraid of Tywin and Cersei. He calls her a whore and is mean to her. He gives her money and tells her that across the Narrow Sea she'll have a house and servants. She cries and he has her taken out forcibly by Bronn who she slaps. He, understanding, takes the slap. Crazy Melisandre burns alive several people, one of whom is the brother of Stannis' wife, the queen. She thinks their souls have been claimed and seems very happy. Melisandre is hardcore. She's giving an offering to the Gods. Davos is worried that Stannis killed his brother-in-law. Stannis says he was an infidel who refused to tear down his false idols. Stannis threatens Davos for challenging him. Stannis, the queen, and Melisandre eat. The larders are almost empty. Times are getting rough. The queen reminisces about another time they were poor and ate grilled seagull. The queen worries about their "stubborn" and sinful daughter. Stannis says to not to strike her. The queen suggests that Melisandre speak to her. Melisandre goes to see the princess in her room. She says she heard the ceremony on the beach and is sad about her uncle and the screaming. The princess is not afraid of her. Melisandre says she was like the princess when she was young. They talk about the Gods. Melisandre says the books she's read of Gods are lies and that there are no seven gods, heavens, and hells. There are only two gods and one hell, the one they live in now. Bran wakes from a Warg-sleep. Jojen says it's dangerous to spend so much time in his direwolf's body. He says he knows it must be glorious to run, leap, hunt and be whole, but Bran could get trapped in his direwolf and forget what it is to be human and forget all his memories of Winterfell and himself. Meera says if they lose him they lose everything. They come upon a large tree with a face in it and red leaves like the one at Winterfell. He touches the bark and has flashes of visions: the three eyed raven, his dad, and hears a voice that says "look for me beneath the tree." He feels himself fall again out of the window. The voice says "North." He breaks contact and says "I know where we have to go." Margaery and Joffrey are wed. Sansa grouses to Tyrion, "We have a new queen." He points out, "Better her than you." Tywin and Olenna chat after the wedding. He grouses about how much the wedding cost. She points out she's paying her share. They chat about the cost of the war and the Iron Bank. She grabs his arm and says they should celebrate young love. The reception is in full swing with firebreathers and entertainment. Bronn assures Tyrion that Shae is gone and safe and tells him to go drink until it feels like he did the right thing. Musicians play for Joffrey. He throws money at them and chases them off. Margaery stands and says she and Joffrey have decided to give the wedding leftovers to the poor people of the city. Big cheers. Oberyn makes eyes at Loras Tyrell across the way. Loras bumps into Jaime who asks if he's looking forward to his wedding to Cersei. He says if he manages to marry Cersei she will murder him and any children they have in their sleep. But this will never happen because Loras will never marry Cersei. Loras points out that neither will Jaime. Brienne bows before the king and queen and wishes them good fortune and hopes his reign is long and peaceful. Cersei mocks her for bowing instead of curtsying. She approaches her and tells her she's a lady whether she likes it or not. She thanks Brienne for helping Jaime get back safe. Brienne points out that he saved her a few times as well. Cersei says she hasn't heard that story. Brienne says it's not such a fascinating story. Cersei narrows her eyes and sweetly says with dripping acid that it must be nice to flit from camp to camp-- Renley to Catelyn to Jaime- and serve. Brienne says she doesn't serve Jaime. But, says Cersei, "you love him." Brienne looks nervous and bows away. Cersei shoots a look at Jaime. It's clear she's jealous that any other woman has spent time with him no matter how platonic. Cersei goes and yells at Pycell and tells him to not give to the leftovers to the poor but to the kennels. Pycell tries to argue that it was the queen's wishes. Cersei asserts she is the queen and she is giving him an order. A man juggles for Margaery and Joffrey and he has people throw food at him. Cersei and Tywin chat up Oberyn Martell and Illaria. They have a very acidic back and forth with Cersei insulting Ilaria because she's a bastard-- which is more common and not as shameful in Dorne-- and Oberyn continually needling her by calling her the "former Queen Regent" and Lady Cersei and reminds her that her daughter was shipped off to Dorne. Joffrey stands up and complains a royal wedding isn't amusement , it's about history. Then he said he came up with a special treat. And a big lion's mouth opens and a bunch of dwarves pour out, dressed up like different members of the families who fought in the war-- Joffrey, Stannis, Renley, Balon, Robb Stark-- fighting comically to the death. Sansa has to watch her "brother" die as everyone laughs and shouts. It's all very horrible and humiliating. And of course "Joffrey" wins and then pretends to defile Robb's 'wolf" head. Tyrion calls Pod over and whispers to him to pay each dwarf 20 in gold when this is done and he'll have to find a way to thank the king later. The show ends and then Joffrey insultingly invites Tyrion to fight with the dwarves. Tyrion say he did his fighting in the war and he'd like to keep the rest of his face. He then ill-advisedly mocks Joffrey and says he should get in there with his new sword and show everyone how a true king wins his throne. Joffrey decides to put him in his place by pouring his wine on Tyrion's head. He then tells him he wants Tyrion to be his "cup bearer." Tyrion calls it an honor. Joffrey says it's not meant as an honor. Tyrion comes to retrieve the cup and Joffrey drops and kicks it, embarrassing him in front of everyone. Sansa picks it up. Tyrion fills it with wine. Joffrey demands that Tyrion kneel. Tyrion refuses, and the two engage in a tense staring contest. Then Margaery distracts everyone and breaks the tension by noting the huge wedding pie has arrived. Joffrey whacks it with his sword and doves fly out, or at least the ones he didn't kill who are now bleeding into the pie. He and Margaery have pie and Joffrey notices Tyrion leaving to change out of his wet clothes. Joffrey says he's fine the way he is and tells him to give him his wine. Angrily, Tyrion picks up the goblet from the banquet table and hands it to his nephew. Joffrey drinks from it, and promptly -- well, not promptly enough -- dies. Horribly. He points out Tyrion with his last breath. Cersei loses her mind. Guards seize Tyrion. A man, the fool who was saved by Sansa, grabs Sansa's arm in the confusion and spirits her away, saying she has to leave now.